The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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