we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize