I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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