it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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