there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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