whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize