ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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