do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize