after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
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Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize