I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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