i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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