I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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