So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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