You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize