dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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