dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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