end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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