my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize