Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize