i permit you to call me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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