You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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