I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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