Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize