Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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