Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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