The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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