they need to just BURY HIM!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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