I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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