u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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