Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Nipple clamps can be ambiguous

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  (651): Nipple clamps can be ambiguous http://tfl.nu/3muz
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (5944) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.

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  (817): Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3. http://tfl.nu/dq7j
  Replies (40) Good night (552) Bad night (5240) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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  (919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0
  Replies (71) Good night (1939) Bad night (6460) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now

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  (641): just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now http://tfl.nu/052c
  Replies (12) Good night (4957) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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  (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3
  Replies (24) Good night (9901) Bad night (833)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

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  (303): you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing.. http://tfl.nu/daro
  Replies (6) Good night (821) Bad night (3031) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume

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  (703): Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume http://tfl.nu/akez
  Replies (9) Good night (2303) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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  (631): yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem? http://tfl.nu/eu3b
  Replies (21) Good night (3262) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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  (781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish I could understand how you function in society

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  (778): it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body (1-778): I wish I could understand how you function in society http://tfl.nu/9z0t
  Replies (4) Good night (1445) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.

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  (970): The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless. http://tfl.nu/oac7
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  ...and?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hate when you're right.

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  (928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8
  Replies (10) Good night (816) Bad night (283)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (171)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes

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  (970): Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes http://tfl.nu/j9tk
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (92) Order T-Shirt

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