My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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