Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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