I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize