I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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