so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize