It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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