the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize