dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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