remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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