i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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