Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize