I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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