guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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