Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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