He kissed a someone with a penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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