i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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