Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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