Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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