Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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