I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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